My husband Ken bravely fought cancer for ten years. After so many years of having cancer in our lives, we began to believe he would live on like this for many years to come.

But in December 2020, cancer entered his brain, and he went downhill rapidly. As a family, we were caught off guard and had no clue about how to care for him. He didn’t want to die in hospital, but his oncologist was of the opinion that he needed hospital care. He could no longer walk or communicate and became paralyzed on his right side.

I was crazy with worry, grief, panic and since we had only just moved to White River, I had no idea where to even start with Ken’s palliative care. I reached out to Hospice White River to see if they could help in some small way.

I did not expect the level of help and care that followed. Sister Elsa and Debbie arrived at our house and went on, over the next months to become an absolute pillar of strength for our family. They became family.

They quickly sourced all sorts of equipment for us so that we could effectively care for Ken at home. They found a hospital bed, walkers, bed pans as well as a syringe driver, which meant that Ken could come home and still have morphine administered via drip. This was an absolute necessity as without it, Ken would have had to stay in hospital. It was during one of the Covid lock downs so he would have been alone, and we wouldn’t have been able to see him.

Not only did Elsa and Debbie source all this equipment for us, but they also came to our house, sometimes twice a day to chat with Ken and I, help me to change sheets and bathe Ken, turn him and keep his pressure wounds clean. These are all monumental challenges that face a family who is looking after their loved one at home, especially when one is frozen with anxiety and sadness.

They not only guided me in the practical aspects of looking after Ken, but they also very calmly and quietly lifted our emotional spirits, spoke to Ken, and calmed him.

Elsa and Debbie created room for me to breathe on days when it was all I could do not to fall apart. They cared for Ken with the utmost gentle respect.

One night Ken’s syringe driver stopped working, which meant that he was without the morphine that kept him comfortable. Debbie and Elsa scoured all of Nelspruit in those early hours of that morning to find another one urgently. And they managed, going above and beyond their scope of duty. I will be grateful to them always.

In the week leading up to Ken’s passing, they gently started to prepare us for the scary time ahead.
When a family is in crisis like this, it is so hard to know what to do, how to prepare for death. Hospice White River took us by the hand and walked us through the practical matters, arranging all of that for me because I was not capable at the time to even consider funeral arrangements with my husband still breathing.

Debbie and Elsa were an absolute godsend, and I would not have been able to make it through without them.

Ken passed away at 2.11pm on the 25th of January 2021. He was at home, surrounded by family and love and this was his last wish. Hospice White River was the reason for this, and I will never forget that.